Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
