last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
