You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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