I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
