I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
