the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Couch. On fire.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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