I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
