I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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