I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
