just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
