In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
