SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
