you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So vagazzling was a success
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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