i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
