if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
