it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
