There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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