I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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