The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
