is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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