Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
