Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
