return my video game
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
