I'll bet she douches with gravy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize