OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
