Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
