:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
