Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
