I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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