So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
