I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
