The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
