Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
