You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize