If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
