i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
