Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
