I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
