yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
