google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
