Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't think brook has ever known best
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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