the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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