I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
