i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
