i wish there were pregnant emoticons
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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