I just threw up on my dentist
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
