I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
