who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
