Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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