I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
