wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
