Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
