god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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