I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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