Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I party with great urgency now.
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