What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
