Cold hands, warm shart.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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