Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
