I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
