This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
