He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
