I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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