She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
