Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
