dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
