lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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