Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
