God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
