I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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