you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
